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Bill Bore is based on a patois-speaking opinionated
individual who cornered Mike Hurley for an evening at The Churchill
pub in Bradford in 1977. Think yourself lucky you weren't there. |
| The Official Biography William Yorkshire Bore is a 75-year old retired insurance salesman who lives in a back to back terraced house at 27a, Inkerman Terrace, Batley, with his wife Doris. They have an only son, Raymond, who is married to Deidre, a staunch womens' libber whom Bill detests; he blames her for calling his only grandson "Damien" ("its a ruddy pouf's name - can't ever see Damien Bore opening't battin' fer Yorkshire"). Damien's best subject at school is needlecraft, thus bearing out Bill's worst fears about his grandson's persuasion. |
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| Bill Bore is the person whose eye you would least like to catch when alone in a public place - he might actually come and join you. His views, and he has them on everything, make Genghis Khan look like a Liberal Democrat ("there's nowt like eighteen inches of cold Sheffield up his jacksie to mek Johnny Foreigner see the logic of your argument" "if I ran the way women do, I'd walk everywhere" "women don't go bald because hair protects the weakest part of the body, in their case, the brain" etc.). |  |
Bill has many dislikes: foreigners, politically-correct members of socialist councils ("they'll rename Manchester Personchester next!"), women, young people ("I died in the war for people like them") but, above all, the hated Lancastrians ("stand on the Pennines, face West, and you can smell the poverty" "anyone who'd put hotpot in their mouth knows nowt about hygiene!"). Bill's pleasures are few: give him a pint of milk stout, a pipeful of Mother Shipton's ready-rubbed shag, and an audience, and he's happy. Bill believes the old ways are the best ways, and progress is the road to oblivion; he has resisted all Batley Council's attempts to demolish his outside lavatory and replace it with one inside ("where would the rats live?!"). He remembers the time maps of the world were mostly coloured pink, he's seen us lose an Empire, he hates the Common Market and blames politicians for everything. And we all know someone just like Bill! Listen in on Saturday at 9.15am to find out what he has to say this week. |
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